Superman first appeared in 1938 and Batman in 1939, meaning Clark and Bruce have been battling wrongdoers for nearly 80 years. Of course, not all the battles could be against Lex Luthor and the Joker. Behold their strangest—and generally lamest—adversaries ever…
The Kite-Man
Yes, a villain who harnessed the power of… kites. “Look out, Batman: There’s a slight breeze!”
Mr. Mxyztplk
Superman’s greatest fear after Kryptonite: spelling.
Killer Moth
Enemies: Batman, porch lights.
Composite Superman
Half Superman, half Batman, 100 percent lazy by the writers.
Jimmy Olsen
Seriously, not what friendship’s about, Jimmy.
Cat-Man
His costume has whiskers.
The Kryptonite Kid
It’s nice the Kryptonite Parents got him a Kryptonite Dog for his Kryptonite Birthday.
Calendar Man
March 27. That means it’s… Easter. Sweet costume, Jesus!
The Terrible Toyman
That’s “terrible” as in “horrifying”, not “poorly made.” (Though he has done more outsourcing recently…)
The Penny Plunderers
“Remember, Batman: A penny saved is a penny earned! (Awkward silence.) Sounded more menacing in my head somehow.”
A Tree
It knows what it did to piss Superman off.
KGBeast
Please let this character crossover with Elizabeth and Philip on The Americans.
The Superman-Batman Revenge Squads
Superman encounters the villainy of male pattern baldness.
Polka-Dot Man
As deadly as he is tacky.
The Insect Queen and Bee-Boy
For the last time, Meek Mill, he’s not that kind of B Boy.
The Ten-Eyed Man
Can see through his fingertips, which takes masturbation to a weird new level.
Perry White (Non-Laurence Fishburne version)
“It’s ‘Master-Man.’ Seriously, I went to the trouble of making up a supervillain name: Use it, people!”
The Snowman
The only supervillain who forced Batman to rent skis.
Muhammad Ali
1978: The year the Louisville Lip faced down the Man of Steel, yet went 1-1 against Leon Spinks.
Underworld Olympics
Less prestigious than the Laff-A-Lympics, more so than the Goodwill Games.
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